Instead of thinking about what others think of you, start thinking about what you’re thinking about. When you’re ready (and only you will know), sit still in a quiet place, take a few breaths, and ask yourself the following hard questions. Key Point–if your head starts spinning to assist your denial while “trying” to answer the questions, YOU ARE LYING. The truth will be short answers and will provide relief. The truth sits still.
1. What is your worst memory? Who do you blame? Have you ever told anyone about it?
2. Do you live a lie? Are you married to someone you don’t love?What was going through your head when you were saying your vows? Do you tell your “friends” how great your kids are doing when they’re not…at all?
3. Have you abused someone? A child? Your child? An animal? Yourself?
4. Who is your worst enemy? Why? How are you like that person? This is where it gets sticky. Remember, no one can hear you think. Just go there. And if you have more than one enemy (and I’d bet my paycheck you do), answer these same questions about them.
5. Who do you gossip about? Do you realize that gossip is ALL about ego and ego is ALL about insecurity? (This is actually simple–if you won’t say it to someone’s face, then don’t say it behind their back– that’s called being a coward).
6. Do you work at your job or just steal a paycheck? If so, do you blame a mean boss or someone who has hurt you to justify it? Do you point out co-workers who don’t work either to justify your behavior? Do you find things “wrong” with co-workers who do work because they make you look bad?
7. Do you steal from your employer? If so, how do you to justify it?
8. What do you abuse? And if you can’t own this STOP here because you are wasting your time. Alcohol? Drugs? Food? Sex? Money? Key Point– our society continually makes the grave mistake of treating the symptom and not the problem. Ex: Diets don’t work. They never have, they never will. The products to help you lose weight don’t work. They can’t. It’s a billion dollar industry. Hello.
9. What do you do that you don’t want to do? This is broad. If you’ve made it this far you’ll get it. And now you’ll start getting mad. Let it out…there is no other way. Be volatile until you cry. Wiffle ball bat on the bed is safe.
10. Do you abuse yourself? Hate yourself? Harm yourself? Key Point–there’s a very short line from victim to victimizer and the more you hold it in, the shorter the line gets.
11. Have you been abused? Physically? Emotionally? Mentally? Sexually? Have you ever told anyone about it?
12. How do you lie by omission? Key Point–yes, lying by omission is still lying and a lot of people on this planet do more damage by what they don’t do or say than by what they do.
13. What is your deepest, darkest secret that you have never told anyone?
This is enough for now. If you’ve made it this far, it’s fair to say you’re determined to take the right journey. Congratulate yourself, you are now in a different type of 1% club!